#News

The copter seems to be circling the parking area now. I guess it's looking for a place to land. No! Something just came out of the back of the helicopter. It's, uh, a dark object. Perhaps a skydiver plummeting to the earth from only 2000 feet into the air. And there's a third. There's no parachutes yet. Those can't be skydivers. I can't tell just yet what they are, but... Oh my god, they're turkeys! Johnny, can you get this? Oh, they're crashing to the earth right in front of my eyes! One just went through the windshield of a parked car! This is terrible. They're running around, pushing each other. Oh, my goodness! Oh, the humanity! Oh, people are running about! The turkeys are hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement. I don't know how much longer-- The crowd is running for their lives!