You know, Mary, I haven't had Christmas off in seven years. –Oh, that's terrible. –Well, it's not too bad. You get used to it. Christmas is just like any other day when you work in a newsroom. You know what I mean? –Uh, no. –Oh. You gotta work on Christmas. –I've got to work on Christmas? –Well, that's another way of putting it.
The copter seems to be circling the parking area now. I guess it's looking for a place to land. No! Something just came out of the back of the helicopter. It's, uh, a dark object. Perhaps a skydiver plummeting to the earth from only 2000 feet into the air. And there's a third. There's no parachutes yet. Those can't be skydivers. I can't tell just yet what they are, but... Oh my god, they're turkeys! Johnny, can you get this? Oh, they're crashing to the earth right in front of my eyes! One just went through the windshield of a parked car! This is terrible. They're running around, pushing each other. Oh, my goodness! Oh, the humanity! Oh, people are running about! The turkeys are hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement. I don't know how much longer-- The crowd is running for their lives!
It's 11:59 at Radio Free America, and this is Uncle Sam with music and truth until dawn. Right now, I've got a few words for some of our brothers and sisters in the Occupied Zone: The chair is against the wall. The chair is against the wall. John has a long mustache. John has a long mustache. It's 12 o'clock, Americans, another day closer to victory. And for all of you out there on or behind the lines, this is your song.