Welcome to the starship Heart Of Gold. Please do not be alarmed by anything you see or hear around you. You are bound to feel some initial ill effects as you have been rescued from certain death at an improbability level of 2 to the power of 267,709:1 against, possibly much higher. We are now cruising at a level of 2 to the power of 25,000:1 against and falling, and will be restoring normality as soon as we're sure what is normal anyway. Thank you.