Welcome to the show, thank you for joining us. You know, I am really steamed. I marched in a parade this weekend. The poster said it was in honor of my favorite emotion: pride. Well, it turns out it was a Gay Pride parade and I didn't find out until after I'd marched for 3 hours shouting 'I am Stephen Colbert and I am proud to be out.' By which I clearly meant 'outside.' It was a lovely day.
But why do they have to steal the word 'pride?' It's yet another attempt by the homolexicographical agenda to turn our dictionaries gay. They already took the word 'gay' and gayed it all up. I used to use that word all the time. Then they stole rainbows and closets. Back in college, when I was young and gay, I threw the gayest rainbow-themed closet parties around.
This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning 'My country 'tis of thee/Sweet land of Liberty/Of thee I sing/Land where my fathers died/Land of the Pilgrim's Pride/From every mountainside/Let freedom ring.' And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghanies of Pennsylvania. Let freedom ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado. Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California, but not only that, let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia. Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee. Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring. And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual 'Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty we are free at last.'