#Food

Apr

2018

Makes me bloaty

From: Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius

I don't digest pulp well. It makes me bloaty.

Rob Paulsen (Carl Wheezer)

#Digestion

#Food

Mar

2018

Screwed-up little kid

From: South Park

Episode: Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo (1997) (Season 1, Episode 9)

Right now, you're nuttier than Chinese Chicken Salad, mm-kay? I mean, you're one screwed-up little kid. Do you understand?

Trey Parker (Mr. Mackey)

Feb

2018

Mr. Grocery Store Cart Wrangler

From: Real American Heroes

Episode: Radio Spot #10

Budweiser presents: Real American Heroes. –♪ Real American Heroes ♫ –Today we salute you, Mr. Grocery Store Cart Wrangler. –♪ Mr. Grocery Store Cart Wrangler ♫ –Any wienie can stock a shelf, but it takes a real man to wrestle an untamed herd of jammed-together grocery carts. –♪ Gotta keep 'em movin' ♫ –There are 20 strays in the lot and weather setting in. Who's gonna bring those doggies safely back inside? –♪ Who's it gonna be? ♫ –The man in the smock and the comfortable shoes, that's who. –♪ Don't mock my smock ♫ –So this Bud's for you, Mr. Grocery Store Cart Wrangler. As far as we're concerned, you put the super in supermarket. –♪ Mr. Grocery Store Cart Wrangler ♫

Pete Stacker (Announcer) | Dave Bickler (Singer in commercial)

Dec

2017

Mr. Supermarket Free Sample Guy

From: Real American Heroes

Episode: Radio Spot #41

Budweiser presents: Real American Heroes. –♪ Real American Heroes ♫ –Today we salute you, Mr. Supermarket Free Sample Guy. –♪ Mr. Supermarket Free Sample Guy ♫ –Though Man dreads few things more than a trip to the supermarket, you offer us hope... and sometimes a free mini-wienie –♪ Love that freebie wienie ♫ –What exactly do you have? Aerosol cheese products? Deep-fried morsels? Who cares? If it's on a toothpick and it's free, it could be plutonium and we'd eat it. –♪ It's all good, baby ♫ –For a guy wearing oven mitts and an apron, you're all right. –♪ You're a star! ♫ –So this Bud's for you, O Titan of the Toothpick, because you put the free in freedom. –♪ Livin' free ♫

Pete Stacker (Announcer) | Dave Bickler (Singer in commercial)

Nov

2017

Mr. All-You-Can-Eat Buffet Inventor

From: Real American Heroes

Episode: Radio Spot #32

Budweiser presents: Real American Heroes. –♪ Real American Heroes ♫ –Today we salute you, Mr. All-You-Can-Eat Buffet Inventor. –♪ Mr. All-You-Can-Eat Buffet Inventor ♫ –You've given us the real American Dream: a tray, 15-feet of food, and a little sign that says "Go nuts, buddy." –♪ Pinch me, I'm dreamin' ♫ –Pushing side-dish innovation to its limits, you offer creamed everything and 400 flavors of gelatin. –♪ Feedin' frenzy ♫ –If there's beef, you'll chip it. If there's chicken, you'll fry it. And if there's gravy, well, then everything's going to be OK. –♪ Thank god for my gravy! ♫ –So this Bud's for you, Buffet Boy. You know the way to a man's heart, and a few hundred tasty ways to challenge it. –♪ Mr. All-You-Can-Eat Buffet Inventor ♫

Pete Stacker (Announcer) | Dave Bickler (Singer in commercial)

Nov

2017

What happened to our turkey?

From: Family Guy

Episode: Turkey Guys (2014) (Season 13, Episode 5)

You want to tell me what the hell happened to our Thanksgiving turkey? –Oh, that. Uh, well, last night Brian and I got drunk and ate the turkey. But before you get mad, we also ate the salad.

Alex Borstein (Lois Griffin) | Seth MacFarlane (Peter Griffin)

Nov

2017

Mr. Supermarket Deli Meat Slicer

From: Real American Heroes

Episode: Radio Spot #9

Budweiser presents: Real American Heroes. –♪ Real American Heroes ♫ –Today we salute you, Mr. Supermarket Deli Meat Slicer. –♪ Mr. Supermarket Deli Meat Slicer ♫ –To feed America's hunger, you stand dangerously close to a buzzsaw armed only with a salami. –♪ Just your and your salami ♫ –Behind your glass fortress you quickly fill orders as shoppers shout "Hey, I was first." –♪ Take a number, please ♫ –And no matter what you're slicing, from baloney to liverwurst, you always hit your mark: one tenth of an ounce over. –♪ Slice, slice, slice. That's the way I like it ♫ –So this Bud's for you, O Master Slicer. And remember, when someone asks "Who cut the cheese?", you can proudly say "It was me." –♪ Mr. Supermarket Deli Meat Slicer ♫

Pete Stacker (Announcer) | Dave Bickler (Singer in commercial)

Nov

2017

He who controls the stuffing

From: South Park

Episode: A History Channel Thanksgiving (2011) (Season 15, Episode 13)

He who controls the stuffing controls the universe.

Trey Parker (Miles Standish)

#Thanksgiving

#Food

#Stuffing

Oct

2017

Mr. Fortune Cookie Fortune Writer

From: Real American Heroes

Episode: Radio Spot #12

Budweiser presents: Real American Heroes. –♪ Real American Heroes ♫ –Today we salute you, Mr. Fortune Cookie Fortune Writer. –♪ Mr. Fortune Cookie Fortune Writer ♫ –Most writers leave their wisdom in a book. You leave yours in a cookie. –♪ Crunchy cookie ♫ –Sure they taste good, but it's the information you provide that that we're really hungry for. –♪ Love is 'round the corner ♫ –Though your tablet is small, your message never is. –♪ Show me the way ♫ –Of course the moo shu pork and the egg foo yung fill our bellies, it's your inspiration that keeps us well nourished. –♪ Yum yum yum yum egg foo yung ♫ –So this Bud's for you, Mr. Fortune Cookie Fortune Writer, because when you say our luck is about to change, we believe you. –♪ We believe you ♫

Pete Stacker (Announcer) | Dave Bickler (Singer in commercial)

Sep

2017

Mr. Chinese Food Delivery Guy

From: Real American Heroes

Episode: Radio Spot #20

Budweiser presents: Real American Heroes. –♪ Real American Heroes ♫ –Today we salute you, Mr. Chinese Food Delivery Guy. –♪ Mr. Chinese Food Delivery Guy ♫ –Without you, we'd be forced to do the unthinkable when we wanted Chinese food: drive to a restaurant. –♪ Moo shu gai pan ♫ –But you, sir, bring it to us in under twenty. –♪ Ride like the wind! ♫ –Armed with your rickety bike, you battle traffic, bad weather, and the occasional busted elevator. And why do you do it? Because somewhere a guy is waiting for his kung pao crab puffs and he's got $1.57 with your name on it. –♪ That's 10 percent ♫ –So this Bud's for you, oh Mercenary Of The Mandarin Chicken, and know that when America is looking for a man to get the job done, you do deliver. –♪ You deliver! ♫

Pete Stacker (Announcer) | Dave Bickler (Singer in commercial)

Sep

2017

Mr. Pickled Pigs Feet Eater

From: Real American Heroes

Episode: Radio Spot #14

Budweiser presents: Real American Heroes. –♪ Real American Heroes ♫ –Today we salute you, Mr. Pickled Pigs Feet Eater. –♪ Mr. Pickled Pigs Feet Eater ♫ –Ignoring all you know about pigs and where they live and what they step in, you look at their pickled paws and say "Yummy." –♪ Lookin' tasty ♫ –Craving only the most-daring meal, you pass up the cow tongue, skate by the head cheese, dismiss the Rocky Mountain oysters. –♪ Rocky Mountain oysters ♫ –But a pig's foot soaked in pickle juice? Now that's good eatin'. –♪ Save me a big one ♫ –So this Bud's for you, Pickled Pigs Feet Eater, because it takes guts to eat those feet. –♪ Thank you, Mr. Pickled Pigs Feet Eater ♫

Pete Stacker (Announcer) | Dave Bickler (Singer in commercial)

Sep

2017

Mr. Outside-The-Stadium Peanut Seller

From: Real American Heroes

Episode: Radio Spot #17

Budweiser presents: Real American Heroes. –♪ Real American Heroes ♫ –Today we salute you, Mr. Outside-The-Stadium Peanut Seller. –♪ Mr. Outside-The-Stadium Peanut Seller ♫ –You stand like a sentry outside the grounds of our national pastime offering us your salty nuts. –♪ Nice and crunchy! ♫ –"Half-price on the outside, all the taste," that's your pitch. –♪ Nuts for scratch! ♫ –There's nothing like spending a summer day on a hard bleacher seat crunching your nuts... –♪ Crunch, crunch, Oh! ♫ –Unless maybe it's sitting behind home plate spreading mustard on your wiener. –♪ Hot-n-spicy ♫ –So this Bud's for you, Outside-The-Stadium Peanut Seller, because thanks to you, a bag of peanuts costs just peanuts. –♪ Mr. Outside-The-Stadium Peanut Seller ♫

Pete Stacker (Announcer) | Dave Bickler (Singer in commercial)

Aug

2017

Mr. Renaissance Fair Performer

From: Real American Heroes

Episode: Radio Spot #42

Budweiser presents: Real American Heroes. –♪ Real American Heroes ♫ –Today we salute you, Mr. Renaissance Fair Performer. –♪ Mr. Renaissance Fair Performer ♫ –You've taken the barbaric warfare of the 12th century and made it a great outing for the entire family. –♪ Quality time, yeah ♫ –Every night you stand in green tights and pointy shoes and proudly display your manhood. –♪ Standin' tall! ♫ –Armed with swords, battleaxes, and big hammers, you knock each other senseless while we devour giant turkey legs and five-gallon sodas. –♪ Simply delicious ♫ –Sure, we know it's fake, but don't tell us getting clobbered in the face with a spiked ball doesn't hurt a little. –♪ Oh! ♫ –So this Bud's for you, Renaissance Guy, because you'll always be our knight in shining armor. –♪ Someone get a stretcher ♫

Pete Stacker (Announcer) | Dave Bickler (Singer in commercial)

Jun

2017

Mr. Edible Underwear Maker

From: Real American Heroes

Episode: Radio Spot #30

Budweiser presents: Real American Heroes. –♪ Real American Heroes ♫ –Today we salute you, Mr. Edible Underwear Maker. –♪ Mr. Edible Underwear Maker ♫ –Your true genius combined two of Man's favorite things: panties and food. –♪ I can taste it now ♫ –They're a snack. They're underwear. They're a snack and underwear. Brilliant. –♪ Two treats in one ♫ –Gorgeous grape. Rock my world raspberry. Bodacious banana. –♪ 26 flavors ♫ –And nothing says "I want you" like a man with a mouthful of underpants –♪ I want you, baby ♫ –So this Bud's for you, Mr. Edible Underwear Maker, because thanks to you, when it comes to panties extra-large means extra-yummy. –♪ Yummy, yummy, yummy ♫

Pete Stacker (Announcer) | Dave Bickler (Singer in commercial)

Jun

2017

Mr. Foot-Long Hot Dog Inventor

From: Real American Heroes

Episode: Radio Spot #4

Budweiser presents: Real American Heroes. –♪ Real American Heroes ♫ –Today we salute you, Mr. Foot-Long Hot Dog Inventor. –♪ Mr. Foot-Long Hot Dog Inventor ♫ –When conventional wisdom said no one could make a hot dog longer than six inches, you dared to dream. –♪ Dared to dream ♫ –You knew the limitations of a regular-sized hot dog bun and you ignored them. –♪ Can't stop me now! ♫ –You made a 10-inch wiener, and people cheered. –♪ Oh! ♫ –But you weren't satisfied. You said, "Wait! I still think I can give you two more inches." –♪ Gotta want it ♫ –And so the foot-long was born. So this Bud's for you, Mr. Hot Dog Hero, because you gave every single one of us our fondest wish: a bigger wiener. –♪ Thank you, thank you, thank you ♫

Pete Stacker (Announcer) | Dave Bickler (Singer in commercial)

Jun

2017

Going to die

From: Blazing Saddles

A man drink like that and he don't eat, he is going to die. –When?

Cleavon Little (Bart) | Gene Wilder (Jim / The Waco Kid)

Apr

2017

You've eaten enough

From: Open Season 2

Put down the treats. You've eaten enough!

Crispin Glover (Fifi)

Aug

2016

Hide the salami

From: Caddyshack

Wait up, girls. I got a salami I gotta hide still.

Bill Murray (Carl Spackler)

Apr

2016

One-quarter portion

From: Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens

What you brought me today is worth, hmm... one-quarter portion.

Simon Pegg (Unkar Plutt)

#Barter

#Food

Dec

2015

Enlarged heart

From: 3rd Rock From The Sun

Episode: Happy New Dick! (1998) (Season 4, Episode 9)

How can they let the Grinch carve the roast beast after what he did? –They probably feel bad for him because of his enlarged heart.

John Lithgow (Dr. Dick Solomon) | French Stewart (Harry Solomon)

Dec

2015

Magic carrots

From: Doctor Who (II)

Episode: Last Christmas (2014) (Season 9, Episode 0)

Reindeer can't fly. They just can't. –No, no they can't. It's a scientific impossibility. That is why I feed mine magic carrots.

Faye Marsay (Shona) | Nick Frost (Santa Claus)

Nov

2015

Blow this popsicle stand

From: The Madagascar Penguins in a Christmas Caper

Let's blow this popsicle stand, boys!

Tom McGrath (Skipper)

#Food

#Farewells

Pages

Born Today

Ginnifer Goodwin • 22 May 1978

Christopher Lee • 22 May 1922

Barbara Parkins • 22 May 1942

Paul Winfield • 22 May 1939

Died Today

Richard Biggs • 22 May 2004

John Derek • 22 May 1998

Dina Merrill • 22 May 2017

Died This Year

08 Jan 2018 • Donnelly Rhodes

19 Jan 2018 • Dorothy Malone

04 Feb 2018 • John Mahoney

21 Feb 2018 • Emma Chambers

03 Mar 2018 • David Ogden Stiers

04 Apr 2018 • Soon-Tek Oh

13 May 2018 • Margot Kidder

Top 25 Quotes - Today

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Views today: 14

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Where are the Cheetos?!, from: Extended Play
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Goose-stepping morons, from: Indiana Jones & The Last Crusade
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Terrible things, from: Battlestar Galactica (2004)
Views today: 7

She offed herself, from: Girls Will Be Girls
Views today: 6

Lady-like look, from: Muscle Beach Party
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Change jobs with this buttonhead, from: The 3 Stooges
Views today: 5

Not ready for immortality, from: Babylon 5
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I feel much better, from: 2001: A Space Odyssey
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The colonies are burning, from: Battlestar Galactica: The Plan
Views today: 5

Dad, you're a real jerk!, from: Family Guy
Views today: 5

Fasten your seatbelts, from: Knight Rider
Views today: 4

Much to learn, from: Transformers (2007)
Views today: 4

Lured me into their deception, from: Battlestar Galactica: The Original Series
Views today: 4

An Old Fashioned, from: It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
Views today: 4

Worst Penthouse Forum letter, from: The Daily Show
Views today: 4

What's that smell?, from: Bear In The Big Blue House
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This is ridiculous!, from: Lover Come Back
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When everyone's super, from: The Incredibles
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Seize your moment, from: Coco
Views today: 3

You monster, from: Portal 2
Views today: 3

That'll do, Donkey, from: Shrek
Views today: 3

As politely as possible, from: Dead Like Me
Views today: 3

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