We have achieved our position through poise, precision, and audacity. To this we must now add resolve. We'll be branded as traitors; the gravest capital crime, punishable by death. A couple hundred years ago a few guys named Washington, Jefferson, and Adams were branded as traitors by the British... and now they're called patriots. In time, so shall we.
This is Didi Snavely asking you, 'Do you know how dangerous it could be during this day and age to ride unarmed in a one-horse open sleigh?' Well, lay those fears to rest, 'cause Didi's is stocked to the ceiling this Christmas with weaponry for the home, the car, and the workplace. God forbid during this joyous season that anyone listening should become the victim of a Christmas theft. But wouldn't you rather shoot someone than watch them run off with your new toaster? I know I would. So whether it's a stun gun, judo clubs, or just a simple old-fashioned switchblade, when you come to Didi's you'll have a holly-jolly Christmas and the criminal will have a silent night.
My name is Sergeant Frank Drebin, Detective Lieutenant, Police Squad; a special detail of the Police Department. There'd been a recent wave of gorgeous fashion models found naked and unconscious in laundromats on the west side. Unfortunately, I was assigned to investigate hold-ups of neighborhood credit unions.
There are three days 'til Christmas... People rushing around getting ready for the family reunion, family dinner, the tree. But us? We work. There are aggressive theft rings out there robbing people. So we remain alert, maximum enforcement effort. Concentrate on hazardous violations. And remember... for every Christmas excuse you get out there, you may have saved a life and kept a family together.
Dear Mr. Potter, The Ministry has received intelligence that at 6:23 this evening you performed the Patronus Charm in the presence of a Muggle. As a clear violation of of the decree for the reasonable restriction of underage sorcery, you are hereby expelled from Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.