Orel, drinking on a daily basis is not the only way to be an adult. –Well, I tried not talking about my feelings, too. –Oh, son. Behaving like a grown-up is many things. First, and foremost, it means doing things that you hate doing. –Like what, Pop? Well, like dealing with people who make you unhappy, being stressed about things you have no control over, and working soul-numbing jobs. –Oh. –Then, gradually, as we endure these hardships and accept them as normal, that's when we've finally earned the right to get drunk and be emotionally distant from our families. –Just like my father. I love you, Dad.
So when you go out trick-or-treating this Sunday, take an extra minute to do a little safety check on your costume. Make sure there are no horns, peace symbols, Star of Davids, or any rosaries on them. In fact, the funnest costumes are holy things like generic angels or cleanliness. You do that and you'll have a happy and safe Halloween.
I don't know, Orel. I don't think this is a good idea. You can't just break all Ten Commandments in one day. God's gonna hate you. –That's the point. What can be scarier than that? Then tomorrow I'll just repent and both him and Jesus will be back on my side again. –Wow! You're right! Christianity sure is convenient. –Why would God make it any other way?