I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people, and I want him brought right here. With a big ribbon on his head! And I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spineless, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?
Most places do something for their employees at this time of year. –Well, I've given them Christmas Day off. –Chief, most banks even give a holiday bonus. –I've already thought of that. –You have? –Just this morning I said to myself, 'Milburn, you've got to give those loyal employees of yours a Christmas bonus. –But, Chief, that's extraordinary! –I thought so, too. Fortunately, a cold shower brought me to my senses.
You know something, sweetheart? Christmas is... well, it's about the best time of the whole year. When you walk down the streets, even for weeks before Christmas comes, and there's lights hanging up, green ones and red ones, sometimes there's snow and everyone's hustling some place. But they don't hustle around Christmastime like they usually do. You know, they're a little more friendlier -- they bump into you, they laugh and they say 'Pardon me. Merry Christmas.' -- especially when it gets real close to Christmas night. Everybody's walking home, you can hardly hear a sound. Bells are ringin', kids are singing, the snow is coming down. And boy what a pleasure it is to think that you've got some place to go to. And that the place that you're going to, there's somebody in it that you really love. Some one you're nuts about. Merry Christmas.