| 2009-12-31
|
 |
"Mmm. You know something about champagne, sir? (giggle) –Havershaw, if you tell me that the bubbles tickle your nose... I shall probably kill you!"
[Joe Flynn (Havershaw) | David Tomlinson (Peter Thorndyke)
from Love Bug, The] |
|
|
(background)
"I'm watching what you're doing, Dad. It's not a rap video."
[Shia LaBeouf (Sam Witwicky)
from Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen] |
| 2009-12-30
|
|
"Good afternoon. My name is Russell, and I am a Wilderness Explorer in Tribe 54, Sweatlodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?"
[Jordan Nagai (Russell)
from Up] |
|
|
(background)
"Please let me in. –No. (door slams)"
[Jordan Nagai (Russell) | Edward Asner (Carl Fredricksen)
from Up] |
| 2009-12-29
|
|
"Harry, I assume right about now you must be wondering why I brought you here. Am I right? –Actually, sir, after all these years I just sort of go with it."
[Michael Gambon (Albus Dumbledore) | Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter)
from Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince] |
|
|
(background)
"Wands out, Harry."
[Michael Gambon (Albus Dumbledore)
from Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince] |
| 2009-12-28
|
 |
"Honey, just because snow is the same color as our refrigerator doesn't mean you know how it works."
[Seth MacFarlane (Stan Smith)
from American Dad!] |
|
|
(background)
"I sense that's not sincere, although I have no idea why."
[Jim Parsons (Sheldon Cooper)
from Big Bang Theory, The] |
| 2009-12-27
|
|
"Either we're going down... or they are. Kirk, out."
[Chris Pine (James T. Kirk)
from Star Trek (2009)] |
|
|
(background)
"Come with me... cupcake."
[Jason Matthew Smith
from Star Trek (2009)] |
| 2009-12-26
|
|
"And I expect a raise! These are mad times we live in. Mad!"
[Jim Broadbent (Horace Slughorn)
from Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince] |
|
|
(background)
"Well, being me has its priviliges."
[Michael Gambon (Albus Dumbledore)
from Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince] |
| 2009-12-25
|
|
"Merry Christmas and Happy Julianuary, everybody!"
[Andy Richter (Mort)
from Merry Madagascar] |
|
|
"December 25th, 1642, Julian calendar, Sir Isaac Newton is born. Jesus, on the other hand, was actually born in the summer. His birthday was moved to coincide with the traditional Pagan holiday that celebrated the Winter Solstice with lit fires and slaughtered goats. Which, frankly, sounds like more fun than 12 hours of church with my mother followed by a fruitcake. –Merry Newtonmas, everyone!"
[Jim Parsons (Sheldon Cooper) | Johnny Galecki (Leonard Hofstadter)
from Big Bang Theory, The] |
|
|
(background)
"Oh, I see a great Christmas photo op!"
[Rodger Bumpass (Squidward Tentacles)
from SpongeBob SquarePants] |
| 2009-12-24
|
|
"Oh, Hal, don't worry about it. It'll be OK. You just need to find something that's a thousand times better than Disneyland, open on Christmas Day, and free. –Just because it's hard, Lois, doesn't mean it's impossible. I am going to make this happen!"
[Jane Kaczmarek (Lois) | Bryan Cranston (Hal)
from Malcolm In The Middle] |
|
|
"Hey, guys, where's your Christmas spirit? He's just running late. –He probably just stopped for a snack! Uh, fat guys get hungry, right? –Yeah!
[Tom Kenny (SpongeBob SquarePants) | Bill Fagerbakke (Patrick Star)
from SpongeBob SquarePants] |
|
|
(background)
"...And everyone pretends to like the fruitcake!"
[Tom Kenny (SpongeBob SquarePants)
from SpongeBob SquarePants] |
| 2009-12-23
|
|
"If you did believe in Santa, what would you want him to bring you? –Daddy for Christmas."
[Fran Drescher (Fran Fine) | Madeline Zima (Grace Sheffield)
from Nanny, The] |
|
|
"So... due to unforseen circumstances, we are now completely broke. Therefore, I am making a proclamation: this will be a hand-made Christmas. We're not spending any money on gifts. They will be home-made, and therefore more personal and more thoughtful."
[Jane Kaczmarek (Lois)
from Malcolm In The Middle] |
|
|
(background)
"Look, I don't know how you got me to go along with this, but that's it! The Christmas lie is over!"
[Jane Kaczmarek (Lois)
from Malcolm In The Middle] |
| 2009-12-22
|
|
"What? I mean, Christmas tree's a major Christian symbol. Next to the cross itself, you can't get anything that's more Christian than that. Know what I mean? Traditionally, Jews try to avoid Christian symbols."
[Rob Morrow (Dr. Joel Fleischman)
from Northern Exposure] |
|
|
"It's a Cold War that dates back centuries. You see, Santa used to be based in the South Pole. –Oh, this again? Santa chose North Pole fair and square. –Oh, please. They bribed him candy canes and cheap Elf labor. –That's it! Let's go!"
[Tom McGrath (Skipper) | Jim Cummings (Lead Reindeer)
from Merry Madagascar] |
|
|
(background)
"Happy Festivus."
[Michael Richards (Cosmo Kramer)
from Seinfeld] |
| 2009-12-21
|
|
"When we watch Frosty The Snowman he roots for the sun. –Excuse me, but the sun is essential for all life on Earth. Frosty is merely a bit of frozen, supernatural ephemera and a stolen hat. A crime, by the way, for which he is never brought to account."
[Johnny Galecki (Leonard Hofstadter) | Jim Parsons (Sheldon Cooper)
from Big Bang Theory, The] |
|
|
"Thanks for turning my holiday into a Woody Allen special."
[Mike Judge (Hank Hill)
from King of the Hill] |
|
|
In Memoriam, Brittany Murphy
"Why? Well, uh, it's kind of like asking why all the guys chew Copenhagen, you know? I mea-- If you're 17, and you're not a total fry, it's just what you do."
[Brittany Murphy (Lisa Swenson)
from Drop Dead Gorgeous] |
|
|
(background)
"(explosion) Yes, it's Christmas with The Joker!"
[Mark Hamill (The Joker)
from Batman: The Animated Series] |
| 2009-12-20
|
|
"Oh, I always tear-up when the Grinch's heart grows three sizes. –Tears seem appropriate. Enlargement of the heart muscle, or hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, is a serious disease which could lead to congestive heart failure. –Fa-la-la la-la-la la la la."
[Kaley Cuoco (Penny) | Jim Parsons (Sheldon Cooper) | Johnny Galecki (Leonard Hofstadter)
from Big Bang Theory, The] |
|
|
"This year, with the world in the shape it's in, Christmas is a... hollow promise. We should not be looking for toys anymore."
[William Windom (Dr. Seth Hazlitt)
from Murder, She Wrote] |
|
|
(background)
"But, Petey, don't you love deckin' the halls with boughs of harley?"
[Bill Farmer (Goofy Goof)
from Goof Troop] |
| 2009-12-19
|
|
"Niles, you old Scrooge. Get into the Christmas spirit. –Spoken by one who doesn't have to clean it all up. –Well, that's the thing about Chanukah. Eight candles and a menorah; no fuss, no muss. –Is it too late to convert? –Never. We'll get you a Bar Mitzvah and, of course, a circumcision. –Suddenly I'm filled with the Christmas spirit."
[Fran Drescher (Fran Fine) | Daniel Davis (Niles)
from Nanny, The] |
|
|
"Merry Merry, everyone! –Wow! Great sweater, Roger. –Thanks! I totally sniped it from a guy on eBay. I not only stole the sweater, I stole his holiday spirit. And that made my holiday spirit grow stronger! Because tha--that's how it works, right? Like Highlander? There can be only one?"
[Seth MacFarlane (Roger the Alien) | Rachael MacFarlane (Hayley Smith)
from American Dad!] |
|
|
(background)
"Fine. If you all hate Christmas so much you can go wait in the car."
[Seth MacFarlane (Stan Smith)
from American Dad!] |
| 2009-12-18
|
|
"What a lovely thought it is at this very moment, all over the country, from the highest to the lowest, through those charming plump folks somewhere in the middle, everyone is enjoying Christmas."
[Rowan Atkinson (Edmund Blackadder)
from Blackadder's Christmas Carol] |
|
|
"What's so special about Julianuary if everyone gets to have something?"
[Danny Jacobs (King Julien)
from Merry Madagascar] |
|
|
(background)
"Roger, Christmas is no time to be singing!"
[Seth MacFarlane (Stan Smith)
from American Dad!] |
| 2009-12-17
|
|
"I've ha--I've ha--I've had like 8 cups of egg nog. And this makes 12!"
[Seth MacFarlane (Roger the Alien)
from American Dad!] |
|
|
"I was thinking of picking up a Meñorah so we can celebrate Chanukah and make Gary feel at home. –What?! –What? I just think it'd be nice to honor his traditions, too. Bobby could blow out all the candles on Chanukah Eve and make a wish."
[Kathy Najimy (Peggy Hill) | Mike Judge (Hank Hill)
from King of the Hill] |
|
|
(background)
"Meat. I'll send you a box of nice Christmas meat. Best I can do. Get out of here."
[J.K. Simmons (J. Jonah Jameson)
from Spider-Man] |
| 2009-12-16
|
|
"This is like Christmas, a first BMX bike, and meeting the cast of Firefly all in one."
[Doc Hammer (Henchman 21)
from Venture Bros., The] |
|
|
"You there, boy, what day is this? –Christmas Eve, sir. –What year? –You thick or something? –Oi! Just answer the question. –Year of our Lord 1851, sir. –Right. Nice year. A bit dull."
[David Tennant (The Doctor) | uncredited
from Doctor Who (II)] |
|
|
(background)
"Merry Christmas."
[David Tennant (The Doctor)
from Doctor Who (II)] |
| 2009-12-15
|
|
"Now come on, now. You've seen these kids! They're sneaky... deceitful! I don't wanna have to kill one them, I'm telling you, it's Christmas. You send me some help, Lord! Send me an angel, an elf... Send me one of them lucky midgets with a pot of gold, I'm desperate! Somebody gonna get physically hurt."
[Bernie Mac (Bernie 'Mac' McCullough)
from Bernie Mac Show, The] |
|
 |
(background)
"Christmas vacation is finally here. God help me, I do love it so."`
[Alfonso Ribeiro (Carlton Banks)
from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, The] |
|
|
"Come on! How hard can it be? Melman, you're up! –But I'm claustrophobic. –Yeah? Well now you could be Santa Claustrophobic. Now dive, fool! Dive! Dive! Dive!"
[David Schwimmer (Melman) | Chris Rock (Marty)
from Merry Madagascar] |
| 2009-12-14
|
|
"What did you do, win the lottery? –I wish, more like rubber checks. Don't worry, I'm not going to let them bounce. Tomorrow I'll get my Christmas bonus, Saturday and Sunday the banks are closed, Monday I'll make an instant deposit, and I've done my share to stimulate the economy."
[Daniel Davis (Niles) | Fran Drescher (Fran Fine)
from Nanny, The] |
|
|
"Madame, Sir, a group of your neighbors have assembled on the front lawn. They're looking at your Christmas decorations and growing enraged. They're threatening to burn Frosty in effigy."
[Joseph Marcell (Geoffrey)
from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, The] |
|
|
(background)
"Happy Festivus"
[Jerry Seinfeld (Jerry Seinfeld)
from Seinfeld] |
| 2009-12-13
|
|
(background)
"Isn't that cute? She still believes in Santa. –Honey, I believe in anyone that delivers."
[Madeline Zima (Grace Sheffield) | Fran Drescher (Fran Fine)
from Nanny, The] |
|
|
"I want a present! Give me something nice and shiny! And if you don't, I've got something nice and shiny for you and it's called an axe."
[Miranda Richardson (Queen Elizabeth I)
from Blackadder's Christmas Carol] |
|
|
"I respect all religions of the world. –I'm Muslim. –Jehovah's Witness. –Atheist. –The Lord is testing me."
[Yvette Nicole Brown (Shirley Bennett) | Danny Pudi (Abed Nadir) | Donald Glover (Troy Barnes)
| Gillian Jacobs (Britta Perry)
from Community] |
| 2009-12-12
|
|
"You know, it would be a shame to have to go home and tell your family that you lost your job on Christmas Eve, wouldn't it?"
[Tori Spelling (Carol)
from A Carol Christmas] |
|
|
(background)
"This is the best Christmas ever."
[Willow Smith (Abby)
from Merry Madagascar] |
|
|
"A trucker and his boy... and they've promised their mom to be home by Christmas. Hank, this is one of those novelty Christmas songs that always sells a million freaking copies! I have always wanted to get in on that racket!"
[Kathy Najimy (Peggy Hill)
from King of the Hill] |
| 2009-12-11
|
|
"I shot down Santa. –Oh, you gonna be on the Naughty List for sure now!"
[Ben Stiller (Alex) | Chris Rock (Marty)
from Merry Madagascar] |
|
|
"Are you all coming to my Christmas party right after the final or are you stopping home to change into your Christmas outfits? –I guess I could wear one of my Chanukah sweaters. –Ahh... Annie, I-I didn't know you weren't, um, Christian. –Yep. One might even say I'm Jewish."
[Yvette Nicole Brown (Shirley Bennett) | Alison Brie (Annie Edison)
from Community] |
|
|
(background)
"I have to say, Debra, you're killing Christmas."
[Doris Roberts (Marie Barone)
from Everybody Loves Raymond] |
| 2009-12-10
|
|
"It's OK, you don't have to give me anything in return. –Of course I do. The essence of custom is that I now have to go out and purchase for you a gift of commencerat value and representing the same perceived level of friendship as that represented by the gift you've given me. It's no wonder suicide rates skyrocket this time of year."
[Kaley Cuoco (Penny) | Jim Parsons (Sheldon Cooper)
from Big Bang Theory, The] |
|
|
"And at the Festivus dinner you gather your family around and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year. –And is there a tree? –No, instead there's a pole. Requires no decoration. I find tinsel distracting."
[Jerry Stiller (Frank Costanza) | Michael Richards (Cosmo Kramer)
from Seinfeld] |
|
|
(background)
"Ja! Focus on the Weenie!"
[Cody Cameron (Mr. Weenie)
from Open Season 2] |
| 2009-12-09
|
|
"Christmas is a time for miracles. So maybe, if we screw up our eyes really tight and pray to the big pink pixie in the sky, someone will come and reward us."
[Tony Robinson (Baldrick)
from Blackadder's Christmas Carol] |
|
|
"Attention all passengers. The Titanic is now in orbit above Sol III, also known as Earth. Population: human. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Christmas."
[uncredited
from Doctor Who (II)] |
|
|
(background)
"Merry Christmas, dad... in hell!"
[Julián Rebolledo (Jake Morgendorffer)
from Daria] |
| 2009-12-08
|
|
"My god, we went almost three hours without having an argument. Hmm. –It's our best holiday in years, huh?"
[James Roday (Shawn Spencer) | Corbin Bernsen (Henry Spencer)
from Psych] |
|
|
"Shawn, it's Christmastime. Can you please leave work at the office?"
[Dulé Hill (Burton 'Gus' Guster)
from Psych] |
|
|
(background)
"Don't worry, Preston, I'm over-seeing every aspect of production. We'll own Christmas. –That's what I wanted to hear."
[Bill Murray (Frank Cross) | Robert Mitchum (Preston Rhinelander)
from Scrooged] |
| 2009-12-07
|
|
"Aren't the store windows beautiful, Fred? They're all loaded with gifts. –Yeah. The windows are loaded, it's me that isn't."
[Mel Blanc (Barney Rubble) | Alan Reed (Fred Flintstone)
from Flintstones, The] |
|
|
"That's an out-right Christmas lie with all the trimmings!"
[Tom McGrath (Skipper)
from Merry Madagascar] |
|
|
(background)
"It's a Festivus miracle!"
[Michael Richards (Cosmo Kramer)
from Seinfeld] |
| 2009-12-06
|
|
"There are three days 'til Christmas... People rushing around getting ready for the family reunion, family dinner, the tree. But us? We work. There are aggressive theft rings out there robbing people. So we remain alert, maximum enforcement effort. Concentrate on hazardous violations. And remember... for every Christmas excuse you get out there, you may have saved a life and kept a family together."
[Robert Pine (Sgt. Joseph Getraer)
from CHiPs] |
|
|
"Look at all this food. Hmm. We are so blessed. –I know. There are poor people who dream their whole lives of a meal like this. –(gasp) Honey, I know what we should do. Let's take a picture of us eating and show it to them!"
[Megan Mullally (Karen Walker) | Sean Hayes (Jack McFarland)
from Will & Grace] |
|
|
(background)
"All right! Who keeps telling people I want snowglobes for Christmas?!"
[Timothy Omundson (Carlton Lassiter)
from Psych] |
| 2009-12-05
|
|
"Thank you. On behalf of His Majesty, a Merry Julianuary."
[Cedric the Entertainer (Maurice)
from Merry Madagascar] |
|
|
"Oh, well, another year without profit. Still, it is Christmas. And let us remember, Mr. Baldrick, that be we as stoney as a Biblical execution it is still the season of good cheer and we have all our Christmas treats."
[Rowan Atkinson (Ebenezer Blackadder)
from Blackadder's Christmas Carol] |
|
|
(background)
"Show me the Scrooge promo."
[Bill Murray (Frank Cross)
from Scrooged] |
| 2009-12-04
|
|
"'Dear son, Happy... Festivus'? What is Festivus? –It's nothing. It's no-- –When George was growing up-- –Jerry, no! –His father hated all the commercial and religious aspects of Christmas, so he made up his own holiday. –Ohh. And another piece of the puzzle falls into place."
[Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Elaine Benes) | Jason Alexander (George Costanza) | Jerry Seinfeld (Jerry Seinfeld)
from Seinfeld] |
|
|
"(gasp) No! The Food of Oppression! I must be strong."
[Cody Cameron (Mr. Weenie)
from Open Season 2] |
|
|
(background)
"On my command kick 'em in the bells!"
[Tom McGrath (Skipper)
from Merry Madagascar] |
| 2009-12-03
|
|
"I got you and Leonard a few silly neighbor-gifts, so I'll just put them under my tree. –Wait! You bought me a present? –Uh-huh. –But why would you do such a thing? –I don't know, 'cause it's Christmas? –Oh, Penny! I know you think you're being generous, but the foundation of gift-giving is reciprocity. You haven't given me a gift. You've given me an obligation."
[Kaley Cuoco (Penny) | Jim Parsons (Sheldon Cooper)
from Big Bang Theory, The] |
|
|
"Boy, am I bushed. What a week. But it was worth it. This is a Christmas I'll always remember. Ahh."
[Alan Reed (Fred Flintstone)
from Flintstones, The] |
|
|
(background)
"Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas, everybody!"
[Alan Reed (Fred Flintstone)
from Flintstones, The] |
| 2009-12-02
|
|
"Call Security, have them change his locks, clean out his desk, and toss him out of the building. –He's fired? But it's Christmas! –Thank you! Call Accounting, stop his bonus."
[Bill Murray (Frank Cross) | Alfre Woodard (Grace)
from Scrooged] |
|
|
"Frank, you don't like Christmas much, do you? –Like it? I love it. It's cold, but people stay home and watch television. Ad revenues go up 30%. All these idiots are going to be home watching the boob tube for me tonight! I am the biggest fan that Christmas ever had."
[John Murray (James Cross) | Bill Murray (Frank Cross)
from Scrooged] |
|
|
(background)
"(gasp) Ooh, this is fantastic!"
[Katherine Helmond (Lois)
from Everybody Loves Raymond] |
| 2009-12-01
|
|
"They start the Christmas season earlier and earlier each year.
[Johnny Hardwick (Dale Gribble)
from King of the Hill] |
|
|
"Oh, I get it. You're trying to get me to prove you wrong... That I'm going to be nice to all my patients all through the holiday season, and then Mr. Potter won't steal Tiny Tim's porridge. I'm totally on it. –Yeah. That actually is what I'm trying to do. And the pathetic part is? It's not going to work."
[Hugh Laurie (Dr. Gregory House) | Robert Sean Leonard (Dr. James Wilson)
from House M.D.] |
|
|
(background)
"Happy Festivus!"
[Jason Alexander (George Costanza)
from Seinfeld] |
