| 2005-07-29
|
 |
"Damnit, Warden, I think this game's a big mistake. –Captain, not only will you have the chance to hone our team to a fine edge, you'll also have the opportunity to learn a great deal about life. Why is it, do you suppose, that I can walk through this yard, surrounded by hate, and in total command? –Because you've got 15 gun turrets all around you that say you can."
[Ed Lauter (Captain Knauer) | Eddie Albert (Warden Hazen)
from Longest Yard, The] |
|
|
(background)
"Hey, Pop. –Yeah? –That time you hit Hazen in the the mouth, was it worth it? Was it worth 30 years? –Yeah. For me, it was."
[Burt Reynolds (Paul Crewe) | John Steadman (Pop)
from Longest Yard, The] |
| 2005-07-28
|
|
(background)
"Sonja, you been drinking from the glass we use for the Village Idiot?"
[Woody Allen (Boris Grushenko)
from Love And Death] |
|
|
"Oh, if only God would give me some sign. If He would just speak to me once. Anything. One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough. –Of course there's a God! We're made in His image! –You think I was made in God's image? Take a look at me. You think He wears glasses? –Not with those frames."
[Woody Allen (Boris Grushenko) | Diane Keaton (Sonja)
from Love And Death] |
| 2005-07-27
|
 |
"Fred, all I know about computers is I want a better one than everyone else." (from CDW)
[uncredited
from Commercials] |
|
|
(background)
"I'm pretty, don't contradict me."
[Mila Kunis (Jackie Burkhardt)
from That '70s Show] |
| 2005-07-26
|
|
(background)
"Well, come on. We're burning daylight."
[Robert Carradine (Slim Honeycutt)
from The Cowboys] |
|
|
"Now I don't hold jail against you, but I hate a liar."
[John Wayne (Wil Andersen)
from The Cowboys] |
| 2005-07-25
|
|
"Just where do you think you're going? –Uh, I was gonna sell some rubber nipples."
[John Kricfalusi (Ren Höek) | Billy West (Stimpson J. 'Stimpy' Cat)
from Ren & Stimpy Show, The] |
|
|
(background)
"I can hardly contain myself!"
[Billy West (Stimpson J. 'Stimpy' Cat)
from Ren & Stimpy Show, The] |
| 2005-07-22
|
|
"Yes, what I am began in Man's mind, but I have progressed further than Man."
[Paul Frees (Colossus)
from Colossus: The Forbin Project] |
|
|
(background)
"We will work together… unwillingly at first, on your part, but that will pass."
[Paul Frees (Colossus)
from Colossus: The Forbin Project] |
| 2005-07-21
|
|
In Memoriam: James Doohan
"Ah, if this doesn't work, I don't know what will."
[James Doohan (Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott)
from Star Trek: The Original Series] |
|
|
In Memoriam: James Doohan
"What is it, Scotty? –Transporter breakdown, sir. Continue circuit testing."
[William Shatner (James T. Kirk) | James Doohan (Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott)
from Star Trek: The Original Series] |
| 2005-07-20
|
|
"You should not let your gay friends tell you what to wear sometimes; that's what it comes down to, a straight man to say 'Great bazoombaloomalas!'"
[Joan Rivers (Herself)
from So Graham Norton] |
|
|
(background)
"I know, now the thing is I can't mock anyone's fashion, 'cause, dear god, look at me."
[Graham Norton (Himself)
from So Graham Norton] |
| 2005-07-19
|
|
"Why? Why are you following me? Why? What have I ever done to you?"
[Dudley Moore (Stanley Tibbets)
from Foul Play] |
|
|
(background)
"Leave it to me. I know just the thing for your mood."
[Dudley Moore (Stanley Tibbets)
from Foul Play] |
| 2005-07-18
|
|
(background)
"Holy Merlin the Magician!"
[Burt Ward (Dick Grayson / Robin)
from Batman: The Movie (TOS)] |
|
|
"You think I have nothing better to do than gather information on you and use it against you? Do you think I'm that petty? –Oh, of course not! –Oh, and by the way, you're not working hard enough. –What? –Yep. Got it all on this tape right here."
[Stephen Colbert (Phil Ken Sebben) | Gary Cole (Harvey Birdman)
from Harvey Birdman, Attorney At Law] |
| 2005-07-15
|
|
"First thing you want to know about hippogriffs is that they're very proud creatures, very easily offended. You do not want to insult a hippogriff. If may just be the last thing you ever do."
[Robbie Coltrane (Rubeus Hagrid)
from Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban] |
|
|
(background)
"Are you incapable of restraining yourself, or do you take pride in being an insufferable know-it-all?"
[Alan Rickman (Severus Snape)
from Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban] |
|
|
(background)
"A keyboard. How quaint."
[James Doohan (Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott)
from Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home] |
| 2005-07-14
|
|
"Don't you have nothing else to do but harp on Dr. Venture? Why haven't you tried the World Domination thing, you afraid of the big leagues? –Please. How stupid do I look to you? World Domination. I'll leave that to the religious nuts or the Republicans, thank you."
[Patrick Warburton (Brock Sampson) | Christopher McCulloch (The Monarch)
from Venture Bros., The] |
|
|
(background)
"Go Team Venture! –I don't know, they just do that."
[Michael Sinterniklaas (Dean Venture) | Christopher McCulloch (Hank Venture) | Patrick Warburton (Brock Sampson)
from Venture Bros., The] |
| 2005-07-13
|
|
"Everybody has had one, and one is enough for anybody."
[Gene Wilder
from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory] |
|
|
(background)
"I said 'Good Day!'"
[Gene Wilder
from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory] |
| 2005-07-12
|
|
"Why do you hate your mother so?! –I hate her because she's a money-grubbing selfish bitch who ruined my father's life, and a promiscuous slut who spends all my father's hard-earned money on trash like you! –That's not good enough."
[Jason Priestley (Tony Parker) | Natasha Lyonne (Edith Sussman)
from Die, Mommie, Die!] |
|
|
(background)
"I'm in no mood for your patented brand of bitchery, missy."
[Charles Busch (Angela Arden)
from Die, Mommie, Die!] |
| 2005-07-11
|
|
"Michael, I hate you for making me say serious things, so I will only say this once… You've gone too far with the drugs. –Have you looked in the mirror lately?"
[Seth Green (James St. James) | Macaulay Culkin (Michael Alig)
from Party Monster] |
|
|
(background)
"Well, congratulations on getting out of the very dangerous world of haberdashery."
[Seth Green (James St. James)
from Party Monster] |
| 2005-07-08
|
|
"Hey, Yankees, you can take your apology and your trophy and shove it straight up your ass!"
[Chris Barnes (Tanner Boyle)
from Bad News Bears, The] |
|
|
(background)
"Scruds, does that booger-eating spaz make me want to puke."
[Chris Barnes (Tanner Boyle)
from Bad News Bears, The] |
| 2005-07-07
|
|
"Thomas Jefferson: philosopher, inventor, president, and keeper of one saucy journal! 'The Declaration of In My Pants' tonight on Sick Sad World!"
[John Lynn (Sick Sad World Announcer)
from Daria] |
|
|
(background)
"Gee, that was fun. But in the future, let's save time and just roll around on gravel."
[Wendy Hoopes (Jane Lane)
from Daria] |
| 2005-07-06
|
|
"Testicular torsion isn't just something on TV. It's a real problem. –Testicular torsion occurs only in males, usually under 25-years-of-age. –If you're experiencing sharp pains in the scrotum, swelling in one or both testes, or even blood in your semen, your genitals are most likely dying. –That's right, Doc! So if you want to keep them, you need to seek medical attention as soon as you experience pain like Hank and Dean here did. –So don't be a jack-ass, go see a doctor. –If you want to keep your testicles healthy, remember these three words: Stop, Touch, and Tell. –To find out more about Testicular Torsion, you can look in special medical books. –Or on the InterWeb!"
[Michael Sinterniklaas (Dean Venture) | Christopher McCulloch (Hank Venture) | James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture)
| Patrick Warburton (Brock Sampson)
from Venture Bros., The] |
|
|
(background)
"Pumpkin, you're up early, and you've changed out of your jam-jams into… the clothes you wore last night. How frugal of you."
[Steven Rattazzi (Dr. Byron Orpheus)
from Venture Bros., The] |
| 2005-07-05
|
|
"We're all very different people. We're not Watusi. We're not Spartans. We're Americans with a capital A, huh? You know what that means? Do you? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse."
[Bill Murray (John Winger)
from Stripes] |
|
|
(background)
"You know what the rest of your problem is? –Mm-mm. Tell me. –You've never had anybody give you the Aunt Jemima treatment."
[Bill Murray (John Winger) | P.J. Soles (Stella Hansen)
from Stripes] |
| 2005-07-01
|
|
"Of all the ideas that became the United States, there's a line here that's at the heart of all the others. 'But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and provide new Guards for their future security.'"
[Nicolas Cage (Ben Gates)
from National Treasure] |
|
|
(background)
"Confound it! The batteries are dead!"
[Adam West (Bruce Wayne / Batman)
from Batman: The Movie (TOS)] |
