April 2010 Archives

2010-04-30 Movie "Open your mouth. –And close your eyes. –We're gonna give you a big surprise." [Moe Howard | Larry Fine | Shemp Howard from All Gummed Up]
Movie (background) "I refuse to be the guinea pig again!" [Shemp Howard from All Gummed Up]
2010-04-29 Television "Gentlemen, synchronize Swatches. It's time for Operation Tape Snag." [Corin Nemec (Parker Lloyd Lewis) from Parker Lewis Can't Lose]
Television (background) "None may pass! You are an intruder!" [Rosearik Rikki Simons (GIR) from Invader ZIM]
2010-04-28 Movie "If the girls in your neighborhood are now fucked-up little monsters.... well, maybe it's time to stop driving carpool." [Jesse Eisenberg (Columbus) from Zombieland]
Movie (background) "Time to nut up or shut up." (version 3) [Jesse Eisenberg (Columbus) from Zombieland]
2010-04-27 Television "I didn't get where I am today without knowing there's no fun in getting where I am today." [John Barron (C.J.) from Fall and Rise Of Reginald Perrin, The]
Television (background) "There are plenty of opportunities open for the gifted homosexual." [John Barron (C.J.) from Fall and Rise Of Reginald Perrin, The]
2010-04-26 Movie "Aw, stop crying over spilt beer!" [Jerome 'Curly' Howard from Beer Barrel Polecats]
Movie (background) "Hey, I got an idea. –Shut up! I don't want to hear it. What is it?" [Jerome 'Curly' Howard | Moe Howard from Beer Barrel Polecats]
2010-04-25 Television "Oh, big, big mistake. Really huge. Didn't anyone ever tell you there's one thing you never put in a trap. If you're smart, if you value your continued existance, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow there's one thing you never, ever put in a trap. –And what would that be, sir? –Me." [Matt Smith (The Doctor) | David Atkins (Bob) from Doctor Who (II)]
Television (background) "You're still here. Which part of 'Wait in the TARDIS 'til I tell you it's safe' was so confusing?" [Matt Smith (The Doctor) from Doctor Who (II)]
2010-04-24 Television "Hey, Troy sneezes like a girl! –And how about I pound you like a boy? That didn't come out right." [Joel McHale (Jeff Winger) | Donald Glover (Troy Barnes) from Community]
Television (background) "You know what the crazy thing is, Britta? –Everything you've done tonight?" [Yvette Nicole Brown (Shirley Bennett) | Gillian Jacobs (Britta Perry) from Community]
2010-04-23 Movie "Life's a bitch and then you die. Bumper sticker philosophy. Yeah, right." [Vin Diesel (Toorop) from Babylon A.D.]
Movie (background) "You need two things to live in this business: your balls and your word. You don't have either." [Vin Diesel (Toorop) from Babylon A.D.]
2010-04-22 Movie "I don't have a clue what you're talking about, Phil. Not a fucking clue. I have a shell the size of a fist in my head. Pork Chop Hill. The only way I can make this goddamn toup to stay on is by magnetizing the entire upper left quadrant of my skull, so you just go ahead and do what you do. Do you have any soup?" [Lloyd Bridges (Adm. Thomas 'Tug' Benson) from Hot Shots!]
Movie (background) "That is the whitest white-part of the eye I've ever seen. Do you floss?" [Charlie Sheen (Lt. Topper Harley) from Hot Shots!]
2010-04-21 Movie "Haven't you anything better to do than to keep popping in here early every morning, asking a lot of Fool questions. –And getting a lot of lyin' answers." [Humphrey Bogart (Sam Spade) | Barton MacLane (Det. Lt. Dundy) from Maltese Falcon, The]
Movie (background) "Well, sir, there are other means of persuasion besides killing and threatening-to-kill." [Sydney Greenstreet (Kasper Gutman) from Maltese Falcon, The]
2010-04-20 Movie "Well, I wasn't exaclty Miss Popularity at the FBI myself." [David Duchovny (Fox Mulder) from X Files: I Want to Believe, The]
Movie (background) "What are you doing? –I'm trying to ignore you." [Gillian Anderson (Dana Scully) | David Duchovny (Fox Mulder) from X Files: I Want to Believe, The]
2010-04-19 Movie "I presume you've prepared new insults for today." [Jacob Kogan (Young Spock) from Star Trek (2009)]
Movie (background) "Are you out of your Vulcan mind?" [Karl Urban (Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy) from Star Trek (2009)]
2010-04-18 Movie "Unacceptable. The answer does not program." [uncredited (computer) from Logan's Run]
Movie (background) "My database does not encompass the dynamics of human pair-bonding." [Arnold Schwarzenegger (The Terminator) from Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines]
2010-04-17 Movie "Look, I'm so tired of you runnin' off at your mouth it's getting me down, honey. Why don't you just leave... and be an assasain? 'Cause the only thing you're good at shootin' off is your big mouth." [Antonio Fargas (Lindy) from Car Wash]
Movie (background) "Let's get ready. Switch me on." [Dan Ackroyd (Dr. Raymond Stantz) from Ghostbusters]
2010-04-16 Movie "Well, I'm, uh... I'm not great at farewells, so, uh... That'll do, pig. –That's the worst good-bye I've ever heard. And you stole it from a movie." [Woody Harrelson (Tallahassee) | Jesse Eisenberg (Columbus) from Zombieland]
Movie (background) "It's amazing how quickly things can go from bad to total shit-storm." [Jesse Eisenberg (Columbus) from Zombieland]
2010-04-15 Movie "(footsteps) –Wow. –I just masturbated. –That makes me horny. I hope this date ends in sex. –I don't find you attractive. –Oh." [Jennifer Garner (Anna McDoogles) | Ricky Gervais (Mark Bellison) from Invention Of Lying, The]
Movie (background) "Are you always happy? –Usually. Somedays I stay in bed eating and crying." [Ricky Gervais (Mark Bellison) | Jennifer Garner (Anna McDoogles) from Invention Of Lying, The]
2010-04-14 Television "It is rapidly becoming apparent to me that you are not only not competent to hold your job, you cannot even run a game of strip poker in a Turkish brothel." [Leonard Rossiter (Reginald Iolanthe Perrin) from Fall and Rise Of Reginald Perrin, The]
Television (background) "I didn't get where I am today wearing underpants decorated with Beethoven." [John Barron (C.J.) from Fall and Rise Of Reginald Perrin, The]
2010-04-13 Movie "What should I tell your men when they find out you're gone... –I'll be back." [Bryce Dallas Howard (Kate Connor) | Christian Bale (John Connor) from Terminator Salvation]
Movie (background) "Come with me if you want to live." [Anton Yelchin (Kyle Reese) from Terminator Salvation]
2010-04-02 Movie "Did you know that neither the Greeks nor the Romans were capable of using the concept of zero? It was your ancestors, the Mayas, who first contemplated the zero: the absense of value. True story. You burros have math in your blood." [Edward James Olmos (Jaime A. Escalante) from Stand And Deliver]
Movie (background) "You are the true dreamers... and dreams accomplish wonderful things." [Edward James Olmos (Jaime A. Escalante) from Stand And Deliver]
Movie In Memoriam, Jaime A. Escalante
"There will be no free rides. No excuses. You already have two strikes against you. There are some people in this world who will assume that you know less than you do because of your name and your complexion. But math is the great equalizer. When you go for a job, the person giving you that job will not want to hear your problems, and neither do I. You're going to work harder than you ever worked before. And the only thing I ask from you is ganas. Desire." [Edward James Olmos (Jaime A. Escalante) from Stand And Deliver]
2010-04-01 Television Happy Archer Fools Day!
"And why are there doughnuts everywhere?! –Lana did that. –I-- –Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants!" [Jessica Walter (Malory Archer) | H. Jon Benjamin (Sterling Archer) from Archer]
Television "You want to see crazy?! –No! I've seen that movie and, spoiler alert, it ends with a closet full of 'my suit's on fire!' –I wish you'd been wearing one! –Who would want to wear an on-fire suit? –Cosplay enthusiasts! –What?" [Aisha Tyler (Agent Lana Kane) | H. Jon Benjamin (Sterling Archer) from Archer]
Television "ISIS isn't your own personal travel agency! It doesn't exist just so you can jet off to Whore Island! –That's not... a real place." [Jessica Walter (Malory Archer) | H. Jon Benjamin (Sterling Archer) from Archer]
Television "So don't speak to me. Ever. And while you're not ever speaking to me, jump up your own ass and die!" [Aisha Tyler (Agent Lana Kane) from Archer]
Television "(electrical sparks) We have ways of making you talk. –What, your little go-cart battery? –Golf cart. –Whatever." [Keith Szarabajka (Crenshaw) | H. Jon Benjamin (Sterling Archer) from Archer]
Television "I've got my top man on it... or possibly bottom." [Jessica Walter (Malory Archer) from Archer]
Television "You know when I was little I used to pretend you weren't my mother. –Me, too." [H. Jon Benjamin (Sterling Archer) | Jessica Walter (Malory Archer) from Archer]
Television "Aw, shit! Those were the newsletters!" [Amber Nash (Pam) from Archer]
Television "Holy shit snacks! –We have snacks?" [Amber Nash (Pam) | Jessica Walter (Malory Archer) from Archer]
Television "...Or, wait, you could just be a sarcastic bitch your whole life. –Thank you." [Thomas Lennon (Charles) | uncredited (Rudy) from Archer]
Television "Hey, I am everybody's type! –Oh, please. –What? –You are entirely too gay. –No, I'm not! Are you kidding? –Oh my god, you, like... sneeze glitter. –Thank you." [H. Jon Benjamin (Sterling Archer) | Thomas Lennon (Charles) from Archer]
Television "Oh my god! What shade is that, 'Crack Whore Red'?!" [Jessica Walter (Malory Archer) from Archer]
Television "What's their beef? –Oh, the same 'entitled' crap as always. 'I can't make ends meet. I'm on food stamps. My child died because I couldn't afford new bone marrow.' Just me, me, me, me, me! –Jesus, whose kid died? –Oh, who remembers? Check Pam's blog." [Aisha Tyler (Agent Lana Kane) | Jessica Walter (Malory Archer) from Archer]
Television "Cheryl, I swear to god if I have to open my own salad again, I will freak out!" [Jessica Walter (Malory Archer) from Archer]
Television "You can't put a price on good pussy." [Amber Nash (Pam) from Archer]
Television "(glass breaks) That's why she can't have nice things. –Either that or I steal them. –Hmm? –What? –What's that? –Hmm? What?" [Amber Nash (Pam) | Judy Greer (Cheryl) from Archer]
Television "Oh, OK. Then I guess just pout." [H. Jon Benjamin (Sterling Archer) from Archer]
Television "Holy shit you geeks are bad-ass." [Amber Nash (Pam) from Archer]
Television "Well, you see, this is why... this is why we can't have nice things, Barry! You asshole!" [Jeffrey Tambor (Len Trexler) from Archer]
Television "I don't want another one of your sullen whores using my medicine cabinet like a... a Pez dispenser!" [Jessica Walter (Malory Archer) from Archer]
Television "Oh, great! Thanks, mother, for replacing the baby aspirin with LSD! God, that is just... classic her." [H. Jon Benjamin (Sterling Archer) from Archer]
Television (background) "The following program is rated TV MALSV. It contains strong language, sexual situations, violence, and nudity. It is intended only for mature audiences. Viewer discretion advised." [uncredited (announcer) from Miscellaneous]