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January 31 – "This is the IRS! Throw out your wallets and surrender!" – [Agent Dennehy (John Spencer) from Duckman] |
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January 28 – "Listen (fart), I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome, OK? It's not a joke. In fact, it's protected by the Americans with Disabilities Act (fart). So don't even think about trying to get rid of me for this. (fart) –I appreciate you coming in. –Leave the door open? –Please. –(fart)" – [Chris Gauthier and Ellen Muth from Dead Like Me] |
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January 27 – "Dreaming's for people who like to sleep. I'd rather be awake. And fucking." – [Gale Harold from Queer As Folk] |
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January 26 – "What the heck are you guys doing, trying to ruin my life and make me look like a frigging idiot?" – [Jon Heder from Napoleon Dynamite] |
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January 25 – "All right, I'll take point, you two flank. Let's triangulate. –Equilateral or isosceles?" – [William H. Macy and Paul Reubens from Mystery Men] |
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January 24 – In Memoriam, Johnny Carson ("Boy, am I gonna miss you, Johnny. I love you." – Phyllis Diller from an interview on Talk Of The Nation)
"There is no truth to the rumor that Ed McMahon went on the wagon… and broke it." – [Johnny Carson from Laugh-In]
"If I say in the front of the show, 'The NBC Orchestra,' people tune-in expecting to see the NBC Orchestra. Now you're going to introduce a band? They'll think some people went home. –There are going to be some people going home very short--Sit down! Get that Mickey Mouse outfit together and have them sit down. Horns up. What're you going to do tonight, Doctor? –Well, we're going to stand around and wait till you guys decide if we're a band or an orchestra. –What would you prefer to be called? –Sweetheart." – [Ed McMahon, Johnny Carson, and Doc Severinsen from The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson]
"But look on the bright side. You won't have to read or see one more story about my leaving the show." – [Johnny Carson from The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson] |
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January 21 – "Ha ha! Oh, OK, let's all be good little automaton droids and believe everything we hear on TV." – [Ben Stiller from Mystery Men] |
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January 20 – "Come on, Robin, to the BatCave! We haven't one moment to lose!" – [Adam West from Batman: The Movie] |
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January 19 – "We named the dog 'Indiana.'" – [Sean Connery from Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade] |
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January 18 – "Napoleon, don't be jeaolous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know I'm training to become a cage fighter." – [Aaron Ruell from Napoleon Dynamite] |
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January 17 – "How was school? –Worst day of my life; what do you think?" – [Sandy Martin and Jon Heder from Napoleon Dynamite] |
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January 14 – "I found it a provocative piece of stagecraft, marred only by the author's over-weening pretense towards psychological insight. But the violence was keen." – [Ajax (Dweezil Zappa) from Duckman] |
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January 13 – "Since the Earthmen, especially the Americans, seem to place their faith in luck rather than scientific certanties, I wish you all luck." – [Tommy Kirk from Mars Needs Women] |
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January 12 – "Look at his body: thin, wasted away by the dissipation and debauchery of a life of unspeakable orgies and depravity!" – [Herb Voland from The Love God?] |
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January 11 – "Honey, everyone has bad dreams. It's the times we live in, it's hard to be happy. It's hard to feel safe." – [Adrienne Barbeau from Carnivàle] |
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January 10 – "There's some very strange people practicing medicine these days." – [Derek Godfrey from The Abominable Dr. Phibes] |
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January 7 – "Stop quoting Star Wars." – [Mump (Robert Tinkler) from Undergrads] |
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January 6 – "And you'd better get some laughs this time or you'll be collecting unimployment insurance." – [Bela Lugosi from Bela Lugosi Meets A Brooklyn Gorilla] |
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January 5 – "Look, Bullwinkle, a message in a bottle! –Fan mail from some flounder?" – [Rocket J. Squirrel and Bullwinkle J. Moose (June Foray and Bill Scott) from The Bullwinkle Show] |
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January 4 – "I want you to know that your father loves you both very much. –But he throws like a girl. –So did Martina Navratilova, but that doesn't mean she wasn't macho in many other important ways." – [Harvey Birdman and Jonny Quest (Gary Cole and Dee Bradley Baker) from Harvey Birdman, Attorney At Law] |
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January 3 – "This is all wrong. I-I don't know what it is, but when I kiss you, it's like I'm kissing… my brother." – [Lea Thompson from Back To The Future: I] |
